why do we keep love letters?
i found some today. i wasn't even snooping. love letters to big.
i keep them too. some of them. but i don't know why.
do we secretly want someone to find them?
make others jealous by showing how much we were loved?
or are they for ourselves to remember how much we were loved?
do we plant them so they'll be found when we're least expecting it?
create some unnecessary drama for a brief second,
tuck them away in a new semi-concealed place, and then just wait for them to be discovered again.
can we not let go? see, i don't think we keep them for ourselves.
do we ever go back and read them?
i think we keep them for others. to prove something. but i don't know what.
maybe to say, "hey, look, i'm a good catch. and others think so too."
or maybe to live in a past, happier time and place.
i don't even know where my old love letters are.
and if i did, would i throw them away?
i'm assuming they're in the attic in connecticut.
tucked into various boxes with pictures and old baseball tees.
maybe i'm saving them for my memoir, for my grandkids, for myself for when i'm too old to remember.
maybe to show moments of happiness in relationships of chaos.
to deceive others. to deceive myself.
anyway, i was just thinking about it. love letters. and why we keep them.