If I had a pen and paper, I’d be making a vend diagram (ven diagram, ben diagram, bend diagram? Hmm. Should have paid more attention in third grade). Maybe even two. J vs. Big. And then J vs. J.

Or maybe I’ll just make a list of all of J’s negatives. A long long list. And I’ll check it frequently. Just for a reminder.

Reasons why J and I would never ever possibly work:
1) He takes his pants off before his shirt.
2) He’s a vegetarian.
3) He doesn’t wash his clothes enough.
4) He never washes his hands.
5) He’s a slut.
6) He doesn’t clean after he cooks.
7) I don’t trust him.
8) He’ll break my heart.
9) He has STORAGE tattooed across his stomach.
10) I don’t want to live on the ark.
11) I don’t want to clean the ark.
12) He wears dirty, white, high socks.
13) He disappears for significant periods of time.

But I do like him, so maybe I should include…

Reasons why I would even want J and I to work:
1) We’re the same breed of mut: Italian, Polish, etc.
2) We look alike.
3) We’re from the same place.
4) He’s fucking charming.
5) So handsome.
6) Beautiful eyes.
7) We’d have beautiful kids.
8) If we were to hyphenate our last names, it’d be magic.
9) He’s an amazing singer.
10) We know each other.
11) We enjoy each other and make each other happy.
12) He’s the voice inside my head.
13) It’s a change to my current situation without having to start from scratch.