i've relocated to the bedroom. it was initially a bathroom break. i had been needing to piss for a while, so i sluggishly got out of the hammock and walked with radiating attitude past big. he didn't look up, but i'm sure he noticed. i open the door to our small room and flick the light to our bathroom. it takes a while for the flourescent light to flicker on and begin its almost comforting buzz. i look into the mirror as i undo my calvin klein belt. i look frightening. the humidity has made it so that my hair appears to be taking lift off. the flourescent light accentuates my three month old dye job, which was initially a deep maroon, but now sits in white trash orange chunks on top of a frizzy mess that i don't quite know what to do with. my skin is the color of death and looks as though it could sluff off at any moment.

i sit my corpse on the pot and relieve myself. i reach for the toilet paper and then remember--it has been moved out onto the bed to prevent it from getting wet during showers. i sigh before standing up and waddling out into the bedroom--shorts around my ankles and underwear at my knees. by the time i grab the toilet paper, i have piss dripping down my leg and wiping really isn't an issue anymore. but i do it anyway.

i picture big walking in at this very moment; the door open so that the common area gets a peak.

"why, hello awkward jumper girl. look at me in all of my stumbling, corpse-like, naked glory. take a good look, for i am your superior."

she was probably just staring, because i look like such a freak. and here i was--just ripping her to shreads.

god, i'm an ass.